To Be or Not to Be (1942)
Role: Lieutenant Stanislav Sobinski

Maria Tura (Carole Lombard): "No, no, no. I think we've talked much too much about me. Tell me about yourself."
Lieutenant Stanislav Sobinski: "Well, there isn't much to tell. I just fly a bomber."
Maria Tura: "Oh, how perfectly thrilling!"
Lieutenant Stanislav Sobinski: "I don't know about it being thrilling. But it's quite a bomber. You might not believe it, but I can drop three tons of dynamite in two minutes."
Maria Tura: "Really?"
Lieutenant Stanislav Sobinski: "Does that interest you?"
Maria Tura: "It certainly does."

Lieutenant Stanislav Sobinski: "Well, the other night, Professor Siletsky was addressing us at the camp, and I mentioned the name of Maria Tura - and he never heard of her."
General Armstrong (Halliwell Hobbes): "Neither have I."
Lieutenant Stanislav Sobinski : "Oh, but, sir, she's supposed to be the most famous actress in Poland."
General Armstrong: "Now, look, son, there are plenty of us who aren't interested in the theater. As a matter of fact, there's only one actress that I ever heard of - and I certainly hope I'll never hear from her again."

Written on the Wind (1956) (from filmsite.org)
Role: Kyle Hadley

(to Lucy Moore [Lauren Bacall]): "Not to play, but to work, to behave like, like Tom, Dick, and Harry. I-I'd ask you for dates, take you to lunches, to the movies. I'd be happy with a good night kiss. I'd think seriously about all the things I used to laugh at, like having a wife and a home and kids. Right now, there's one thing you don't have to suppose. I'm in love with you. So much so that I want to marry you."

Kyle: "A toast to - to beauty - and the truth, which is anything but beautiful...This is an occasion. We must proceed with, with quiet dignity..."
Mitch Wayne (Rock Hudson): "What are we celebrating?"
Kyle: "The end of a drought, a year-long drought."
Mitch: "We drank a toast to truth."
Kyle: "So?"
Mitch: "So you ought to let us in on what you're really celebrating - or mourning. (Kyle laughs)..."
Kyle: "So you'd like to know my secret. The secret is - not to pour the vermouth, just to pretend you're pouring it."

Lucy: "Do you love me?"
Kyle: "Love you? I don't even love myself."
Lucy: "Kyle, what is it? Is it something I've said or something I've done or should have done?"
Kyle: "I can't tell you. I'm afraid. It's like I was deep in a mountain pass, snowcaps hanging over my head. If I make a sound, snow might all come tumbling down. Bury me - alive."

Marylee Hadley (Dorothy Malone), on Lucy: "That was no lady. That was your wife."
Kyle: "Where are they [Lucy and Mitch] going?"
Marylee: "I don't know. Where would you take your best friend's wife?"
Kyle: "You're a real sweet kid."
Marylee: "Now be nice to me, brother. One morning we'll wake up, and we'll be all alone together."
Kyle: "Go on, sister. Tell me another pretty story."
Marylee: "Once upon a time, there was a poor little rich boy."
Kyle: "Kyle Hadley by name."
Marylee: "Who pickled his tiny brain with gin and bourbon."
Kyle: "Not so. Scotch."
Marylee: "Till he got so stinking blind, he couldn't see what was going on right under his big red nose."
Kyle: "But his charming, righteous little sister did."
Marylee: "Yes, she saw the end of a marriage and the beginning of a love affair."
Kyle: "You're a filthy liar."
Marylee: "I'm filthy - period. But you don't have to take my word for anything. Just try keeping your head clear and your eyes open."
Kyle: "Why should you care? You've never cared about me."
Marylee: "Or your wife."
Kyle: "Why are you putting your two cents in?"
Marylee: "Only because of Mitch. Because I've never had him, and your wife has."

(Kyle finds out Lucy is pregnant and believes Mitch had an affair with her)
Lucy: "Kyle, it's true."
Kyle: "You shouldn't have done that to me. You shouldn't have."
Lucy: "What are you talking about?"
Kyle: "Mitch. You and the Mitch."
Lucy: "Don't say that Kyle. Don't even think it."
Kyle: "What did you think? You think I was just a drunken idiot? That I'd believe you? That I'd let you use my name? Take my money? You can rot in hell! You, Mitch, and your little..."
Lucy: "Kyle, I've had nothing to do with Mitch."
Kyle: (striking out with rage) "You dirty tramp!"

(Kyle confronts Mitch at gunpoint for having an affair with Lucy): "You lousy white trash. You no-account, two-faced dog. I'm gonna watch you cringe. Then I'm gonna put a bullet in your belly...my best friend. My lifelong pal. What a laugh! You crawlin' snake. You crept in here, sponged off us Hadleys, stole everything I ever wanted, everything I ever had...You made me small in my father's eyes. You made my sister spit at me. Then, you stole my wife."

Airplane! (1980)
Role: Captain Rex Kramer

Rex Kramer, to Steve McCroskey (Lloyd Bridges): "The plan is to build him [Ted Striker] up. Give him all the confidence we can. [to Ted Striker via speaker] Striker, have you ever flown a multi-engine plane before?"
Ted Striker: "No. Never."
Rex Kramer: "S***! It's a g-ddamn waste of time! There's no way he can land this plane!"

"Striker, you listen and you listen close. Flying an airplane is no different from learning how to ride a bicycle. Just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes."

"Get that finger out of your ear! You don't know where that finger's been!"

Kramer (to Striker, who isn't there): "Christmas, Ted. What does that mean to you? Getting dragged and kicked? [pause] Of course not, that doesn't happen, skip that Ted."

"Unsolved Mysteries" (1987-present)
Role: Host

"For every mystery, there is somewhere, somewhere, who knows the truth. Perhaps that someone is watching. Perhaps... it's you".

"Authorities need your help to track down this robber." Any variation of that line in Stack's authoritative voice will make you listen, whether you know anything about the case proflied or not.

"If you have any information on this case, write to us at Unsolved Mysteries... You need not give your name."

Transformers: The Movie (1987)
Role (voice-over): Ultra Magnus

(trying to open the Matrix): [straining] "Open, dammit, open. Prime you said the matrix would light our darkest hour."

Beavis and Butthead Do America (1996)
Role (voice-over): ATF Agent Flemming

"Bork, you're a federal agent. You represent the foundation of the United States. Never end a sentence in a preposition!"